I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
