who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we have pet lesbian snakes
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
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