Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
