Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
