I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
