I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
