If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
