I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
