And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
