What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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