wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
