I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
