our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
