I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
