Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
