I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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