Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i believe in u and ur pee
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
