At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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