my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Actions speak louder than pants.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
