i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
