This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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