Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
