The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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