Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
