I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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