he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
