overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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