i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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