Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
