I want to have your abortion
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
