you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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