random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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