We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
