New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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