My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
