Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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