So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
