i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
