How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
