You're so nebulous sometimes
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
