So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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