I wanna bring you to show and tell
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
