If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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