Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
my liver is dry heaving
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
