He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do herpes really smell.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
