Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
