He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
