I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
