Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
