Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just invented taco cereal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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