I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
